It’s almost that time again, when America gets to decide who’s going to lead this great nation. With this being the third election I am privileged to witness while living here, I’ve been wrapped up with fuzzy, warm thoughts of “Hope” and “Change.”
This time it looked like we were in for a thorough, seriously grueling application process, and my only hope is that this time, once the candidates have been chosen, we don’t opt for the guy we would most like to have a beer with and instead pick someone who will make sure I can still afford a beer after his (or her) term. It would also be nice to elect someone who would work on the fact that there’s almost no one left in this world who actually wants to have a beer with anyone from the United States.
Surely America has learned from the results of voting with their feelings rather than their brains in the last two elections, and is ready to go back to picking the best and brightest. On the plus side, we have actually proven to the world that the USA is still a country where anybody can be anything – even President, so long as you put your mind to it (or not, in the current instance). We’ve proudly put our boot in the “academic” ass of almost every nation in the world (“it’s the American way”) to the point that even the most hardened “W” supporters must have had their: “Oops,-we’ve-really-f***ed-up-this-time.” moment by now.
As usual, the process of looking for a replacement started off well. Barriers were broken down. It didn’t matter if you were black, a woman, Latino, Mormon, or older than the earth itself. It would come down to finding the best candidate to get us out of the mess that “Rain Man” George and his buddies got us into.
Although my own political views are left of center, I strongly believe that the needs of the country supersede any political party. Had Democrat Bill Richardson been nominated, I would have been forced to staple my eyelids together in shame just as much as some of the Republican choices.
So here we are. Our choices are narrowed down to the final two. Not a large menu to choose from, but both seem better than eating any more Bush. How will America decide? Different views on critical issues? Experience? Change? Plain old Party loyalties? Making a decision on any of these points alone I find a rather simplistic way of choosing ones leader, but at least it shows strong convictions by the electorate.
No, America is about to serve itself a big, fat slice of the old irony pie. It looks to me that there is a good chance that one of the candidates could lose the race partially based on America’s view that he’s too elitist? I think I’d prefer the good old days of plain old fashioned racism as a disqualifier.
America, have you lost your mind? One of the top qualifications someone applying for the highest office of the land should have is that he’s the top of the crop. We gave the mildly retarded kid a shot, and that didn’t work out so well. No company would hire a CEO because he’s down with the masses and able to fart the theme song to South Park.
America, I can almost understand being afraid of the radical, fist-bumping, ghetto Obama and his wife. I can understand how that could inspire crazy fantasies about Snoop Dog becoming the Minister of Culture in an Obama administration. I can even understand how you might be slightly offended by Obama’s lack of cheap, flag pin jewelry (the only true sign of a patriot after all).
I know I am not the most intellectual person around – and that is exactly the reason why I don’t run for president. Looking at my friends, family, and almost everyone I meet in person on a day to day basis makes me feel grateful for the fact that the human gene pool has something else on offer. I don’t want someone like me to lead me. I think deserve better. At least I am smart enough to accept the fact that to solve mankind’s problem I’d be better off with someone who would probably not spend the evening with me watching “are you smarter than a 5th grader.”
So, anything, any-thing… but please let’s not reject a candidate because he is too high on the intellectual food chain.
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